Bret Michaels says he has the hots for Ms. Jennifer Aniston.

About his crush:
“There is no doubt I find Jennifer to be very hot, smart, funny down-to-earth and a great actress. She is creative and seems to be on top of her business as well. Most importantly, she seems like someone you could take home to meet mom — yet, behind closed tour bus doors, she could rock your world. I am really just stating the facts as I see them.”

Michaels is quick to add that he respects Aniston’s relationship with John Mayer, “but should John fall out of the picture for some reason… I’m just saying.”

Can you imagine Jennifer Aniston dating Bret Michaels?! That is even funnier than her marrying John Mayer!!!

 

Sharon Osbourne, the pinnacle of manners and ladylike etiquette (ha!), is set to teach her ever charming ways to the class-challenged rejects of Bret Michaels‘ affection in a new reality show for VH1.

Rock of Love Girls: Charm School will see Osbourne doing her best to de-skankify 14 also-rans from seasons one and two of Rock of Love while serving as Headmistress of the titular institution.

It’s the second incarnation for the series, which previously sought to inject a little dignity into the girls from Flavor of Love, courtesy of host Mo’Nique.

As for the girls, whichever contestant makes the most progress toward prim and proper—and yes, they will be graded on a very generous curve—will pocket $100,000 at the end of the show.

That’s a nice payday, considering the girl that wins just has to learn some manners and stop being a skank!