Here’s David Letterman on the cover of Entertainment Weekly on stands today. Kudos to EW; that cover is hilarious!

Letterman has learned this week, it’s that a little contrition and self-deprecating humor can go a long way.

After a shocking admission about office affairs and an alleged blackmail plot, The Late Show host is winning back his fans’ respect with jokes (”I got into the car this morning and the navigation lady wasn’t speaking to me”) and apologies, including one directly to his wife, Regina Lasko, and his staff, whom he thanked for ”putting up with something stupid I’ve gotten myself involved in.” According to the Manhattan district attorney’s office, that ‘’something stupid” came to light after Robert ”Joe” Halderman, a producer at CBS’ 48 Hours Mystery, threatened to expose Letterman’s sexual trysts with employees if the comedian didn’t fork over $2 million. Halderman pled not guilty on October 2, and is next due in court on November 11.

The October 5th episode was up 14 percent in ratings from his season-to-date average.

David Letterman apologized to his wife Regina Lasko during his first appearance since revealing the alleged extortion plot against him last week.

“She has been horribly hurt by my behavior, and when something happens like that, if you hurt a person and it’s your responsibility, you try to fix it,” he said during his opening monologue. “At that point, there’s only two things that can happen: Either you’re going to make some progress and get it fixed, or you’re going to fall short and perhaps not get it fixed, so let me tell you folks, I got my work cut out for me.”

Letterman also noted what a tough time this has been for both current and past staff members of his production company, Worldwide Pants.

“I’m terribly sorry that I put the staff in that position. Inadvertently, I just wasn’t thinking ahead,” he said. “And, moreover, the staff here has been wonderfully supportive to me, not just through this furor, but through all the years that we’ve been on television and especially all the years here at CBS, so, again, my thanks to the staff for, once again, putting up with something stupid I’ve gotten myself involved in.”

But Letterman also found time for some dry humor.

The first thing he said when he walked onstage was, “Did your weekend fly by?” Letterman then started to laugh along with the crowd, according to audience members.

“He made a joke about loving the fall weather in New York, and about how it was getting mighty chilly,” said an audience member said. “He was making fun of the situation. If it’s chilly here, you can only imagine how chilly things were at home.”

Guests Steve Martin and Martin Short both poked fun at Letterman, but also acknowledged the situation was no laughing matter.

At one point Short fell backwards into Martin’s lap, playing a puppet to Martin’s ventriloquist. Martin joked about the other comedian getting too close and risking “sexual harassment charges.”

“Dave was laughing, joking, very energetic,” said an audience member. “He played off the audience’s reactions, off everyone’s facial expressions. But every once in a while you could tell his mind was somewhere else.”

During his second taping of the day, Letterman said, “Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the late show. Are you sure you want to be seen with me?”

David Letterman, 62, said Thursday that he was the victim of a $2-million extortion attempt related to his sexual relationships with staffers on CBS’ “Late Show With David Letterman.”

During a taping for Thursday night’s broadcast, Letterman told viewers that three weeks ago he was approached by a person who claimed to have information about the host’s affairs with female staff members. This person, Letterman said, threatened to expose the relationships unless payment of $2 million was received.

“This morning, I did something I’ve never done in my life,” Letterman said as the cameras rolled. “I had to go downtown and testify before a grand jury.”

“This whole thing has been quite scary,” he said. “I had to tell them how I was disturbed by this. I was scared for my family. I felt menaced by this man.”

Then, Letterman added, “I had to tell them all the creepy things I had done.”

The audience roared with laughter.

“Now why is that funny?” Letterman asked.

“Now of course we get to what was it was – we get to all the creepy stuff,” Letterman said, taking a more serious tone.

“I have had sex with women who work for me on this show.”

The audience was silent.

Letterman said the grand jury asked if the accusations were true.

“Yes, I have,” was his answer.

“Would it be embarrassing if it were made public? Perhaps it would – especially for the women,” he joked.

“But that’s a decision for them, if they want to go public and talk.

He added, “I feel like I need to protect these people – I need to certainly protect my family.”

Having initially contacted the Manhattan District Attorney’s special prosecution bureau, Letterman helped participate in a sting operation, eventually meeting and handing a counterfeit $2 million check to the alleged extortionist – who was arrested on Thursday.

Letterman concluded his admission by saying this was all he intended to say at this time and that he hoped to keep his job.

Letterman and longtime girlfriend (since 1986) Regina Lasko (pictured above with Letterman) were married in March. They have one child, a son, Harry, born in 2003.

President Obama finds humor in the race controversy.

Last night, Obama was a guest on David Letterman’s Late Show.

Letterman asked the President about Jimmy Carter’s comments that recent criticism of his health care reform efforts has been grounded in racism.

President Obama quipped, “I think it’s important to realize that I was actually black before the election.”

The comment got lots of laughs from the audience. Letterman followed-up with: “How long have you been a black man?”

The President did get a chance to be serious and after talking about health care. Letterman ended on a light note, “Your job is more difficult than my job, that’s what I learned here tonight.”

Watch CBS Videos Online

Anne Heche didn’t hold anything back on David Letterman’s show on Wednesday, telling exactly what she thinks of her ex-husband, Coley Laffoon.

“Can you say ‘lazy ass’ on TV?” Heche, 40, asked on the Late Show with David Letterman when he inquired about her ex, the father of her 7-year-old son, Homer. She quickly retracted her statement, by saying, “No, no, no. That’s terrible.”

The feud between Heche and Laffoon still continues – even six months after the two reached a settlement in their divorce, which includes monthly child support payments to Laffoon for their son.

When asked by Letterman what Laffoon does for a living, Heche paused before telling the audience: “He goes out to the mailbox and he opens up the little mailbox door and goes, ‘Oh! I got a check from Anne! Oh! I got a check from Anne! Yay!’”

The couple were engaged in a heated divorce that stretched out for two years, which included a fight over furniture, a custody battle and accusations from both parties. (Heche said Laffoon craved “porn, poker and money.” He fought back and claimed she was mentally unstable.)

Meow!!!

In case you missed Letterman last night, here is Britney Spears reading the Top 10 List – in a bikini!

First Bruce, now we find out that Dave got married last week.

David Letterman married his longtime girlfriend, Regina Lasko Thursday afternoon in a no-frills courthouse ceremony. They are parents of a 5-year-old son, Harry.

“On Thursday, at 3 p.m., March 19, 2009, at the Teton County Courthouse in Choteau, Montana, I was married to Regina Lasko,” Letterman will say, according to CBS.

“Regina and I began dating in February of 1986, and I said, ‘Well, things are going pretty good, let’s just see what happens in about 10 years.’ I had avoided getting married pretty good for, like, 23 years, and I—honestly, whether this happened or not—I secretly felt that men who were married admired me…like I was the last of the real gunslingers, you know what I’m saying?”

This is the second marriage for Letterman, who spent nine years with Michelle Cook before divorcing in 1978.

When Letterman, Lasko and Harry set off for the courthouse Thursday, they ended up getting stuck in the mud.

“So now we think, ‘Well, somebody’ll come—no, nobody comes along,” Letterman says. “Nobody comes along—it’s Thursday afternoon, who’s coming along, Zorro?”

“So I get out of the truck and I walk two miles back to the house into a 50-mile-an-hour wind. It’s not Beverly Hills, it’s Montana, for God’s sakes. And the whole way, I’m thinking, ‘See, smart ass, see, see, you try to get married, this is what happens. See, well, you’ve got nobody to blame but yourself. Could have happened any other day, but you wait now, see, this is what you get.’”

Getting married is in the air!

 

Jennifer Aniston was on Dave Letterman last night.  If you missed it, here it is.

 

Reese Witherspoon was on The Late Show with David Letterman last night.  She was there to promote her new movie with Vince Vaughn called Four Christmases.  The comedy debuts in theaters November 26th. 

Check out Reese’s interview.